i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
