I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize