it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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