12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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