I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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