i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize