Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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