I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Can you bring me the toilet please
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