Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
