What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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