Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize