I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
honey bunches of taint.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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