I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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