dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Randomize
