i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
