dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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