Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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