Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
