my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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