Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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