i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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