I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
