Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
