I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
