They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
