best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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