I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Are we still banned from the library?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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