can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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