shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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