Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize