Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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