I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
