Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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