Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
