I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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