The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
