Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize
