We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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