Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
