so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
