everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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