Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
