All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
