whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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