It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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