Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
