My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
