Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's blow job season.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
