thus making me awesome and them whores
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
