ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
