i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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