smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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