I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
