I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
