4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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