This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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