No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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