Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
