THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
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