i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
