We should be called the Road Head Warriors
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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