i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
