Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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