you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
