I think I am morally bankrupt
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
