A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
