You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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